This is the first post in a series of posts by Tamara, a Girls Gone Global member. Tamara confided in the members of the group at one of her low points in life, and she received tons of support along the way.

Part 1: Feeling lost without a career or direction in life

May 29th, 2018.

Hello everyone!

I am Tamara and I am 24 years old. I am very happy that Girls Gone Global group exists, and I will pour all my love into it. Thank you Alyne for creating this group!

I will just jump right into it. I graduated exactly a year ago and I have not been able to get a job despite over 30 interviews with really great companies. I know everyone goes through something like this, I don’t know why I am going through this. Especially because I have really tried hard. Even before graduating, I kept focusing on what my next steps would be, but I achieved nothing.

What frustrates me the most is that I might have studied the wrong major for me (business).  I know it is a useful skill to have and a great backup plan, and there are a lot of career options. But I feel so lost.

I didn’t know if I should at first, but after being encouraged by brave ladies in this group, I decided to spend all my savings to a last-minute trip to Southeast Asia last January.

I just wanted to leave everything behind for at least a short period of time, which resulted in almost two months of backpacking.

In a temple in Bangkok, I met someone my age working in the United Nations – that’s my dream job, and I was awestruck to have met someone working there. After some talking, I asked how he got in, and he told me about his master’s degree on International Studies in one of the most important universities in Asia, Nanyang Technological University (NTU). With his help, I applied there as well.

After waiting for 6 months they will let me know this May if I am accepted or not! I am incredibly passionate about this topic, International Relations, but I feel like I know nothing at all, so I have been reading and reading for now. I even finished an introduction textbook. It is one of the top programmes, so it is not easy to be accepted. Even if I get accepted, I might only be able to attend if I get one of the several scholarships I applied to…

Hopefully I will be able to enjoy this new path and find myself in it, but currently, it has been very hard. I studied in another city and now I came back to my parent’s home in a place where I barely know anyone. I do not go out. I barely talk to anyone. I just started a non-paid internship – for resume experience. I feel pressure from far away friends and from my relatives. The more time that passes the less hope I have that my life will change course. I do not really know what I am doing. If I do not get this master’s degree, I will just have to continue trying.

I have always said that I wanted my career to be first. That as a woman, I never wanted my life to depend on my parents or husband, if I happen to marry. But now, I literally have no career and I just feel so lost.  

I am currently living in Arizona, but I was fortunate enough to travel while growing up. I was born in Spain, moved to Chile, then moved to Mexico, and now I live here. I consider myself Mexican as my parents are. I love food, traveling, reading, learning, and video/photo editing.  

Check out the second post in the series here!

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